I cannot sleep yet again

Surprise, surprise.

I hate this. I've just been laying in bed for hours trying to go to sleep and I can't do it.

Thinking. And it's never the good stuff.

I thought about just saying fuck it all and literally moving to Hollywood with just the clothes on my back. Seeing what happens out there. See if I got the stuff to make it.

And then I think about the types of parts I would get and what kinda direction I would take my career and all that jazz. And how my life might end up.

And the whole modeling bit and what I would have to do in order for that to work out. I don't think it will or whateva. I just am not what they want and I know that. Maybe in a few years.

And I tell myself that next time they have talent scouts in the area for acting or anything that I'm just gonna go for it. And I think I will; what will it hurt?

And I keep thinking about how I'm in a financial bind and how I got fucked over by the CFS. They pretty much promised me that money and then nope, can't get it. I'm gonna call about it. It's so stressful.

And I keep wondering if there's anything wrong with me physically. There's some things I wanna get checked out just to make sure I'm in the clearing, ya know?

It sucks not having health insurance.

My sister is up now, getting ready for her c-section. God, I wanna sleep.